dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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