"it" just moved
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
