fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
