I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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