i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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