Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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