i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
