how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
