I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
