so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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