every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
