She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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