somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He passed out mid-signature
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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