i think i have herpe
just one?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
