My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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