Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There r osticjed everywhere
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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