is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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