How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
