Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize