FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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