I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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