North Korea, Best Korea!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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