using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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