so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
