I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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