My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
