I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
