is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
