those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
