So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize