On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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