I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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