I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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