Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm at about main and main street
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
