are you so shy because you have an std?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Randomize
