i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
