"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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