We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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