running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
