I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
