I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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