Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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