I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
