you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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