When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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