A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
