Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
