I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize