You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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