apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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