I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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