yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
