Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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