Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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