I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
