I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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