Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
