i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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