Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize