but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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