Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
