i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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