We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
