Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
