he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need a burrito and a hug.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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