This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
