think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
