After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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