She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
