This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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